Somebody to love

I've always been a relationship person. A hopeless romantic. Wine and dine, picnic under the stars, the whole nine yards. I love having someone there. Someone to come home to and tell them how my day went. It's to the point where I don't know how to be single. Not to where I'm always dating someone, but to where I don't know how to do things by myself and have fun. Tonight I went to the club with some friends (Im not a club person at all) and all I saw were couples. Or atleast I thought they were couples, it's hard to tell who's with who when it comes to gay people. Looking at all these people dancing, kissing, holding hands... Just made me wish I had that special someone to do those things with. I know you can't find happiness in someone else until you find it in yourself first so I've been working on that. I've come a really long way. I've stopped "man hunting" which is when you use the club, dating sites, or any gathering as an opportunity to find your next mate. I had a friend that use to always want to go out some where and man hunt none stop, which it was fun when I was younger, scooping out the club to see whos eye i could catch. Then after awhile I realized instead of having fun and enjoying my friends, I was standing around watching everyone else have fun (Which is probably why I'm not a club person).  I had to mature and grow out of that phase. So I distanced myself from him and surrounded myself with more well rounded people. Ive also stopped wasting my time with guys who have alterior motives for getting to know me (I.E. get in my pants). Im actually not even in the market for dating anyone right now because i know i need to focus on myself at this moment in time. I'm getting more and more comfortable with just being single and enjoying me. I have a great group of friends I can hangout with and have fun. It's just occasionally those old feelings come back and I wonder... When will I find my true love? And as I lay in my king sized bed writing this I'm also thinking... Who does the other side of this bed belong to? As of now, it all belongs to me. I can stretch out from end to end and enjoy it until someone comes along and claims it or not. I just have to get comfortable with the possibility of the "or not".


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7_pMUoYloA&feature=youtube_gdata


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Puy0YErgc3U&feature=youtube_gdata

Me, Myself, & I

So, I've recent started watching "United States of Tara" on showtime. (If you've never seen this show, please get into it. Great show) it's all about this woman with multiple personalities and how she and her family deal with this disorder. It got me thinking about how actually everyone has multiple personalities to a certain extent. You have to be work Anthony, friend Anthony, big brother Anthony, etc. The question is... Are we being fake by being these different people or is this just a means of survival? For me, I have different friends for different needs. When the new Harry Potter movie comes out, I know exactly who to call. Or if there was a new art exhibit opening, I have friends for that and never the twine shall meet. I wouldnt ask my work friends to come meet me and others out for drinks. I've never liked mixing my friends and I really don't know why. Sometimes I wonder if I'm being my true self or am I just adapting to my environment and putting on a face? For example, I've been told by my non-black friends that when I get on the phone with my family I have a tendency to talk different... More "black". It's not something that I do on purpose or even notice that Im doing. I just relate to each group in different ways. Is this me being fake? I still feel like myself. I still trust all my friends and feel comfortable enough around them to be myself. It just turns out that my "artsy" self for example is different from my "pop culture" self. I totally know my friends accept me for who I am. I just don't know why I can't be all of myselves around all of my friend. Or why I can't unite all of my friends in a common love for me? Can anyone relate?  

Black don't crack

Today we had a patient come into the office. White guy looked to be in his mid 30s, until i looked at his birthdate and realized im actually older than him. Im just 26 and im only 18 days older than him, but the fact still remained. I showed his drivers licence picture to a few other employees and had them guess his age. The answers ranged from 28 to 37, the only thing i could think was he must have had a ruff life. But when you think about it, blacks normally do age better than any other race. My mom is 44 and people always think were brother and sister. This got me wondering why is it we as a race naturally look younger than we are so I googled "Black dont crack" and came across alot of articles on the subject. One in particular had this to say by a Dr. Madhavi Kandula, a Dermatologist She wrote:
"Yes, there is actually science to this. African-American skin is thicker and ages differently because of this. The most important thing is the melanin; most darker-skinned individuals age very differently as sun damage does not affect those of us with darker tones. The sun doesn’t damage skin as much and also because they have natural color to begin with, they don’t feel compelled to tan." 
So, is that the reason? Darker skin means less sun damage and also less pressure from society to look "beautiful and tanned"? This also raises the question why is it common belief that darker skin color is more beautiful? Are whites trying to look more exotic seeing how they have no culture of their own? Just wondering...