I am torn between two people and i dont know which one to be with, Tony or Anthony. Tony represents the side of me that wants a relationship. Anthony, the side that feels like I should be happy with the life I have. Tony wants a boyfriend so bad. He trys to pretend like he is ok, but the reality is that he is lonely. He gets bored with sitting around the house cause he has noone to go to the movies with. He has noone to cuddle on the couch with and have long conversations into the night. Tony isnt into the whole club scene and he doesnt like to have casual sex. So what does he do in a gay world where most guys only want to know where their next lay is coming from? What does he do when every guy that shows interest in him is only pretending in order to get him into bed? How does he find the unconditional love that his heart longs for every single day? Anthony, on the other hand, feels sorry for Tony. Anthony believes you have to be satisfied with your life. You have to make yourself happy and not wait around for someone else to "complete you". He believes that you have to live your life to the fullest and enjoy everyday. Even if that means going out to dinner alone. Anthony has plans for his life that include starting his own business, buying a nice size house, two cars, and having four children. Now, if there is a man in the picture than great, but Anthony doesnt need a man to accomplish his dreams. Tony does cause whats the use of having a successful life and not having anyone there to share in the joy? Anthony has his eye on the end of the road and is prepared to make the journey alone. Tony looks at the same road and longs for someone willing to make the walk with him. So what do I do?
5 comments:
God, that was real.
I want to be like your Tony side, but sadly to say, I am well the fuck on my way to being Anthony. It scares me to death.
Be Tony and tell Anthony to just be there as backup.
A big hug,
Curt
I say focus on school & work, boo boo bear. I miss you! =)
Be both and love life and all that comes your way. You are terrific and you will find the Ying to your Yang one of these days. Keep ya head up playa!
Well, I know what u mean on the Tony side...........A good friend once said to me sometime u think u all known bout. I think its kind of like your ego gets in the way, and u take for granted that someone just knows what u all about but they don’t. U break your back, your legs, and your face trying to get people to notice u in life, but some how they just don’t wont 2 try to. So u say to your self is it something to said, something i done, is it the way I look, or is it the way my clothes come unfasten, and if all that turns u off then u not worth me anyway. So u try to change your image and persona then u find out your still in trouble. Its 2 many people in the world to try to prove your 2 that one person so u go on and find your self some1 else. So what I wont to say 2 Tony wait for love cause sometime love takes a long time.
I just wanna say that your completed before any man or woman came into the picture when you were created that was completion. You long to be with some and thats everyone one of else but don't settle you make yourself happy first then find someone you can be happy with. You have to love yourself before you love anyone else and you don't have to sleep around to do that either it's nothing wrong with dating or having someone to be friends with to just be there for you. And know what you want in life that you want to be happy and be with someone you love and don't settle wait till the ends of the earth for that true love if you have to cause once you get that love of a lifetime it will such a blessing in your life. That if they passed away the next day you can say I truly knew what it was like to be loved by a human being as if they were God here on earth loving me unconditionally with my flaws and all. And your know exactly were all those great love songs draw from that place of unbelieveable love. Just things to think about.
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